Issue #1 · created by James

Who Should Pay on the First Date

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You’ve got yourself a date with a girl. You picked her up, you got her number, and now

you’re going out somewhere.

Whether it’s a bar or a café, and especially if it’s some fancy restaurant (not recommended), the question will also rise – who should pay the bill at the end of the date?

In this post I will try to answer the question in the view of attraction, masculinity, and of course – the success to get a second date with the girl.

Why Not Pay

I’ve met many men, especially from the “Pick-Up Community”, who expressed their opinion that because “you’re the prize” (i.e. the girl needs to win you over, and not the opposite), the girl actually needs to pay for the first date.

However, although this theory sounds somewhat logical and reasonable, I totally don’t accept it.

If you are not ready to pay the bill, and even worse – if you suggest splitting it, the only impression that a girl will have of you is of a miser.

I can hardly imagine a girl that will find that attractive.

The Man As The Leader

Men, in almost any society, are considered as the strong and leading sex. Women are basically attracted to men based on their masculinity and social status.

In older times, the act of paying for the date was connected to impressing the woman with the man’s financial status.

Today, women and men can be financially equal. Paying the bill is not so much connected to impressing, it’s more a signal of the man’s leadership.

As a man, you are expected to approach the girl, to attract her, to take her phone number, to call her and set a date, to decide where and when to go on a date. You are responsible for everything, and that includes paying for the first date.


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Traditional Chivalry

It doesn’t really matter if you like this or not, but the fact that men need to pay the bill is a socially accepted rule. It’s a simple act of chivalry, and it shouldn’t really cost you too much money.

As I said above, today the act of paying the bill isn’t connected to impressing women. In fact, most women in our world hate when men try to “impress” them with money.

Taking a girl to a date in a restaurant is not a good idea, because it will be seen as trying to impress, it will cost you a lot of money, and it will only be seen attractive to a very certain type of girls (hint: those who will stay with you for the money)

So take her to a first date in a bar or café – it won’t cost too much money and it will put less pressure on both of you.

The Feminist Side

Today we’re living in a feminist world, and it happened to me not once that women suggested paying for their part of the bill.

Even if the girl suggests paying, I would still insist paying myself, and I would give the girl a few points for suggesting. Only if she really insists, let her pay for her share.

If you are looking on the financial side here, it can be OK if the girl will pay for the second date, but again, be careful here, because again – you don’t want to be considered  miser.

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